


Longing

by hoshzii



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, SeokSoo, Slight Angst?, cliche i guess but idk, i don't know how to tag, implied minor character death, jeongcheol - Freeform, mention of minwon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoshzii/pseuds/hoshzii
Summary: seeing your ex at your friends' surprise engagement party would of course be awkward, and maybe a little bit too painful
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Longing

The last time they all got together was after college graduation. It was their last big hurrah. Schedules got tighter, life got in the way, and they never spent time complete ever again. That was until this night. When your friends tell you they’re engaged, despite never hearing about them dating, and invite you over for a party to celebrate, you go. You just have to. Jihoon had to even though he knew what would happen. He would see his ex and feel everything again. There he stood by the doors to Joshua’s all-time favorite restaurant. He peeks in and sees said man with his arms draped over Dokyeom’s shoulders. They were smiling, chatting up all their friends. He sees his best friend Seungcheol, hands holding Jeonghan close. He always thought they’d be the first to get married. Also because of the fact that they were the only couple he had knowledge of in their group. Well, them and of course…

“Hey.” Jihoon is startled by the voice. That oh so familiar voice he always loved. Still do, actually.

“Hi.” He greets him shyly. Trying to hide the blush creeping on his face. He still has the same effect on him. _You still make my heart flutter Kwon Soonyoung_. “Aren’t you going inside?” Soonyoung peeks at all their friends chatting and catching up. “I just needed a minute.”

“Wanna go together?” Jihoon feels his heart drop. _Together_. They haven’t been for a long time, and hearing the word from the man who used to be his world felt nostalgic and painful.

Soonyoung seemed to notice his sudden stillness, “I mean, I can also go in first if you need more time.” He softly smiles at Jihoon. That dazzling smile he used to see the moment he woke and right before he slumbered.

“Yeah, you can go in first. I just need another minute.” Jihoon motions for him to go in and he does.

 _I miss you_. He says in his mind as he takes one deep breath and enters the restaurant with the biggest fake smile he could sport.

-

“So guys, the wedding will be in December.” Joshua starts.

“We wanted a winter wonderland.” Dokyeom joins smiling from ear to ear.

“Well Seokie wanted it and I just want whatever makes him happy.” He stares at his smiling fiancé who could literally render the sun jobless. They stare at each other’s eyes for a bit before being rudely interrupted by a curious Lee Chan.

“Hyungs! You should probably start at how you got together? I mean, you never looked like you were gonna date each other in college so how’d this happen?”

The couple laughs. “We were actually dating in college. We just didn’t want people to know.”

Shock evident on all of their friends’ faces.

Now that Jihoon looks back, the two did seem extremely caring for each other during their time as a vocal band. He just shrugged it off for them naturally being the kind people they are, and of course he was distracted with his own whirlwind romance at that time with.. him. The man sitting across him in their huge round table. They lock eyes for a few seconds before Soonyoung looks away.

 _He’s clearly over you Lee Jihoon why do you keep hoping?_ He winces as he hammers the thought in his head.

He doesn’t pay attention to Joshua and Dokyeom’s love story trying to calm his heart and stopping his eyes from watering with the sudden realization that whatever he and Soonyoung had was clearly over. It had been over a year and Soonyoung was obviously done with it. He’s just really good at being civil to not treat Jihoon the way he felt he deserved to be treated.

Who wouldn’t break up with someone who’s so consumed by his work that he forgets he has a loving, caring boyfriend at home? Lee Jihoon felt like he was the worst. He forgot anniversaries, birthdays, he barely went to Soonyoung’s performances. He was so drowned in his producing gig that he forgot to be a lover. It was no surprise when he went home to an empty apartment with a tear stained letter on the kitchen counter. Soonyoung was fed up. But even then, Kwon Soonyoung was still the kindest. He never wrote words of hatred for the other. He simple said they wanted different things and breaking up was for the best and for their growth. He still offered friendship despite the pain Jihoon must have caused him.

He was clearly the villain here. He did try to get him back. He tried to prove to Kwon Soonyoung that he really did love him and that he just failed time management so bad and that he was a changed man, but the other knew better. He knows Jihoon loves his work and it would be torture for him to put anything else above that.

Jihoon couldn’t hold it in any longer. He needed to get out as tears were threatening to fall. He quickly stood and excused himself saying he just needed a little air.

As he left, his friends got back to chatting and hearing the love story that was SeokSoo’s. Soonyoung on the other hand couldn’t stay put.

“Go follow him.” Wonwoo gave him a little tap.

“I don’t think that’ll help me in the moving on department.” Soonyoung answers.

“Soonyoung, you haven’t moved on one bit and we both know and see how he tried so hard to be better. You keep saying you don’t want to keep him from the work he loves so much but have you ever thought that maybe you are the love he wants the most? I mean, it’s pretty obvious he loves you so much, don’t you think? Plus, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you for longer than five minutes but you keep looking away.”

“Won..”

“You know, you guys were always really bad at communication. He’s stubborn and you’re a know-it-all. He won’t tell you what he needs and you’d decide for the both of you even if it’s exactly what you both hated. Talk to him. You still love him don’t you?”

Soonyoung stared at him. Wonwoo always did know what to say. He felt sad his best friend couldn’t get the happiness he makes other people realize. Wonwoo was the best at giving love advice but couldn’t apply to himself because the love of his life was taken too early. He sighed. He felt bad for Wonwoo and Mingyu, a love story that would be continued in the afterlife.

“Stop that Kwon. I’m okay. It’s been three years and I know Mingyu will always look after me. So now go and fix things with Jihoon. Don’t miss your chance.”

Soonyoung smiled and followed after the love he once lost.

-

Jihoon stood by his car, half wanting to get in and drive away and forget the past that kept on hurting him half wanting to go back in and stay for his friends. He did love them all dearly it was just that the pain of having to see the love of his life so close and yet so out of reach was too much for him. So he stood there frozen, weighing decisions that all felt like loss-loss situations.

“Leaving so soon?” he flinched at the question. Soonyoung was there keeping a safe distance.

“I- I was-“

“Running away?” there was a pang in his heart when Soonyoung uttered those words. “Jihoon.. it’s been more than a year.” Jihoon felt his heart sink even further; _it’s been more than a year and you’re still not over him, more than a year and you’re still making everything so difficult for the ones you love, more than a year and you’re still a disappointment._ These thoughts kept popping in his head.

“I’m sorry Soonyoung. I didn’t mean to make things difficult tonight. I’m leaving don’t worry. I’ll make up an excuse.” Jihoon was about to open his car door when he felt a pair of arms tightly wrapped around his waist.

“Don’t. Please.” Soonyoung whispered as he rested his chin on Jihoon’s shoulder.

It was silent for a while. “It’s been a year and I’ve been nothing but miserable. I keep on missing you and missing you and it drove me crazy. I wanted to answer your calls and get back together but you needed to see what was wrong in our relationship, because I couldn’t keep on doing it alone. I know you love your work but I also wanted you to love me and treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated.”

Jihoon broke from the hug and faced Soonyoung, hot tears streaming down his face. “I know my apologies don’t help lift an ounce of the pain you felt because of me, but I still want to say sorry. I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I’m sorry for not trying harder. I’m sorry for being so stupid that I didn’t realize the love of my life was slipping away from me. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you Soonyoung. I will love you the hardest I know how. I will treat you the way you should be treated. I can’t promise that every day will be perfect and that I will be perfect but Soonie… I love you so much and I will try to be the lover you deserve. It hurt so much when you left and it hurt even more realizing that I caused it. I love my job but it took you leaving me to realize that I love you above all of that and everything else. You’re my best friend too Soonyoung and to have my love and my best friend leave me was the worst.”

Soonyoung’s tears fell as he took Jihoon’s hands. “I love you Jihoon. I loved, love and will always love you. We’ll do this together. Let’s not make the mistakes we did and start fresh, what do you say my love?” He stared at the younger with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“I would love that.” Jihoon smiled and blinked his tears away. Soonyoung leaned in and inaugurated their fresh start with a chaste kiss.

When they separated, Jihoon held his hands tight and looked him straight in the eyes, “Thank you. Thank you for giving me another chance. And.. Soonyoung I really am sorry. I was the worst and you deserve better.”

“Stop thinking that way. I want you, every bit of you. I just needed you to see that we needed to both be in this relationship for it to work and I’m glad you did.”

One more hug and they went back to their group hand in hand. There was an initial shock on their friends’ faces but they soon understood. It was Soonyoung and Jihoon after all.

Jihoon mentally noted how he had to personally go and thank Joshua and Seokmin for his reconciliation with his love. If it weren’t for their engagement, he wouldn’t have had the chance to see Soonyoung again, or have Soonyoung face him. They still have a lot of work to do to fix their relationship. A lot of communicating since that’s what they’re both so bad at but he was determined to make it work. They will make it work.

He kept stealing glances at Soonyoung that night. He kept thanking the universe he got his second chance and how he was not going to waste this chance. Soonyoung did the same, stealing glances, holding Jihoon’s hand all throughout the night. They had a long night still since there was a lot to talk about and to iron out but he was glad Jihoon was back in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> my first ever soonhoon drabble (or anything actually) 🤧 I really didn't have a plot in mind, just some scenes I kept thinking about in my head but yeah this happened. I hope this made sense. I'm not really a writer, just wanted to put those scenes into words to get them off my head hahaha Also, english isn't my first language so sorry for spelling and grammatical errors. Anyway thank you if you got to here and read this thing 😊♥️


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